Travel the US by RVFor me, life is about the freedom to spend my time doing the things I want to do.

I’ve been married, owned a house, had the car and motorcycle payments, the mind-numbing 9-5, lived paycheck to paycheck, and I’ve had the stress that comes with all of those things.

Now I have none of those things, and life has never been better. The debt is gone, the Jeep is paid off, got a few bucks in the bank, the best job in the world, and I assume the ex-wife is off making some other poor soul miserable.

Better him than me :)

Being single, I have to take advantage of this freedom right now. I would love to find a great woman, but how many people can just pack up and leave for months at a time? Well, old retired people can. But how many people my age can do that? Not many. So I gotta go now!

The Trip of a Lifetime

In March I’m buying a big RV (Update: I bought it, see it here) which I will call home for the following 6-7 months, or longer if I feel like it. I’m also going to buy a dual-purpose motorcycle and hook it to the back of the RV so I can travel in and out of cities. Who wants to drive an RV through downtown Chicago or New York? Not me.

Then, some time between April 1st – 22nd I will start my trip all over the eastern half of the United States, working and playing along the way. I’ve never been east of Nebraska, and that’s just weird. I’ve been pretty much everywhere west of Nebraska, and there’s nothing left that I’m excited to see. So for me, this is the trip of a lifetime.

I’m going to Mt. Rushmore and Niagara Falls. I’m going to see a Cubs game at Wrigley Field, a Yankees game at Yankee Stadium, and a bunch of other MLB games along the way. I’m going to the Baseball Hall of Fame, the NFL Hall of Fame, and the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame.

I’m going to see a show on Broadway. I’m going to see the David Letterman show in person, the Statue of Liberty, and stop at Nathan’s Famous Hot Dogs in Coney Island. I’m going to eat real NY style pizza, go to the top of the Empire State Building, and ride the subway. I’m going to watch a comedy show at that place Louie CK goes into at the beginning of Louie.

I’m pretty sure Jay-Z will be inviting me to dinner with Beyonce and Blue Ivy. He’s like the President of New York City or something right?

I’m going to see Ground Zero.

Tiger CubI’m going to volunteer time at big cat sanctuaries everywhere I find them, and donate some steaks for the tigers. I’ll also be seeing the worlds largest LIGER.

Deb: What are you drawing?

Napoleon Dynamite: A liger.

Deb: What’s a liger?

Napoleon Dynamite: It’s pretty much my favorite animal. It’s like a lion and a tiger mixed… bred for its skills in magic.

I’m going to see Washington D.C. – the White House and the Pentagon, and all those things every American should probably see before they die. I’m going to see the CIA headquarters in Langley, Virginia where I’ll track down Mitch Rapp and ask him a few questions.

I’m going to join a gang in Detroit, and shoot someone in Deadwood.

I’m going to eat fresh lobster from a seaside restaurant in Maine. I’m going to learn how to catch crab from the Chesapeake Bay, and spend a couple of days on a shrimping boat in the Gulf of Mexico. I’m going to catch crawfish in New Orleans, and then I’m going to eat them.

I will expose my boobs on Bourbon Street, if the girls throw me beads.

I might reconsider my plans for Detroit and Deadwood. Maybe just do some sightseeing instead.

I’m going to see the entire East Coast – the whole damn thing! I’m going to salsa dance in Miami (after drinking a lot of Padrino Tequila – hollah Moses!).

I’m going to ‘The Witch City’ of Salem, Massachusetts, and bringing my Ouija board to this spooky cemetery (The Burying Point) – - – ->
The Burying Point

I’m also going to Disneyworld! And Daytona Beach, and the Florida Keys. I probably won’t wrestle a gator.

I’m going to see a Cuban model skating down the beach in a thong. And hopefully another, and another, and another.

I’ll be visiting Elvis in Graceland, Dolly in Dollywood, and probably have a one-night stand with Hayden Panettiere when I get to Nashville.

I’m going to play poker on a Mississippi River boat, and totally count my money when I’m sitting at the tables.

I’m going to listen to this song when I get to Memphis.

If it fits into my schedule of being nowhere in particular at every particular time, I might go to the Kentucky Derby. Then again, maybe I won’t.

The same can be said about the 2014 U.S. Grand Prix (F1) in Austin, Texas. Same for the Indy 500.